Hello all – this is not my typical blog post. It’s not a
travelogue and there are no photos. It started when I heard a new part of a
story I thought I knew. This will be in two parts, and depending on the
reaction (or not) I may include more such thoughtful pieces in the future. I
would like to hear your feedback.
I have had some wonderful teachers in my life, not all of
them in the classroom. I’ve also had a good handful of classroom teachers
I wish I’d never met, because they left a life-long bad taste in my mouth.
You’ve had one, right? Everyone has. The teacher who loved your sister but for
some inexplicable reason disliked you. The teacher who had no patience when you
didn’t get it right away. The teacher who mocked you in front of the whole
class.
In my case, my chief nemesis in the classroom was my third
grade teacher, whose name is lost in the winds of the past. I don’t care to
remember, so let’s call her Ms. Grundy (and thanks to Archie Comics). To be honest, I was not a great student. I was
bored. I was easily distracted by the bird whistling in the tree outside the
classroom window (and yes, in those days we didn’t have air conditioning except
for the air that moved through the open window). I had things to think about,
or library books to read under the table top. I think I might have been what is now called
“gifted” but which back then was just called lazy.
One day during math class there was some element of the problem
which I didn’t pick up right away. I don’t remember what it was, and I guess I
either figured it out or got along without it all these years so I’m not sure
what the fuss was about, but it infuriated Ms. Grundy, who shouted at me that I
was stupid and not smart enough to ever learn this.
Well, that certainly made an impression, and not just on me;
the other kids called me Stupid Mark until they found someone more interesting
to pick on. That left a scar. But the bigger damage was my immediate acceptance
of Ms. Grundy’s judgment and pronouncement, and never exerted myself in math
again. Oh, I got by enough to fly jet aircraft and navigate around the world by
learning exactly how to use the tools that helped me do so (and I did it back
in the early days, before computers took over every task but pour fuel in the
tanks). But algebra, geometry, trig – I could never convince myself that I
could figure them out, so I never tried.
Of course, I will take my share of the blame. I had many
opportunities to step up, declare myself as able to figure it out, and then dig
in and work until I conquered the problem.
But I was just a little kid at the mercy of this stern, rigid, angry
authority figure and I took it hard. I do believe the bigger fail was on her
part.
But that was decades ago. Thankfully ALL teachers nowadays
are well-trained, better disciplined, and inspired with passion for teaching
the youth of the world how to go out and do great things. Right? Ummm, maybe not. Certainly some, but most assuredly not
all.
Here are two other, more recent examples. Picture a girl who
was a very talented writer, personable, cheerful, and enthusiastic. Her 7th
grade English teacher loved her, appreciated her, and let her help teach some
topics to classmates who needed help. She always scored near the top in
the state tests.
At the beginning of the next year this girl came into her 8th
grade English class and encountered a teacher who was surly, rude, impatient,
and had absolutely no interest in this enthusiastic, bright, skilled child. In
fact this teacher seemed to make it her mission to make the class unbearable
for her, giving her the worst kids in class as partners, giving her nearly
impossible project assignments, and then giving her indefensible low scores
despite impressive completed projects.
I don’t know what it was about this girl that threatened
this teacher so much (competence? enthusiasm? talent?) but when she failed the
student’s final paper, worth half the semester grade, her parents, both
professional writers, had had enough and called for a conference with teacher
and principal. Despite the principal’s stated concern and support for the
student, it was a hatchet job from the start. The teacher had already muddied
the pond, and the principal stood by this awful teacher 100%. I’ve never been
more disgusted with the school system, until I heard another story a few days
ago about this same girl. (Oh, and her revenge on them? She stayed bright,
brilliant, determined, and enthusiastic, despite their vitriol. Oh yeah, and
she scored 100% on the state English test for her grade, the only student in
the state to do so!)
The other story happened the next year at the same school.
This girl sings, and has a clear, strong, lovely voice (and yes, as a singer I
am qualified to make that observation). The choir teacher went out of her way
to tell this girl that she wasn’t a good singer, and could never be a soloist
because her voice just wasn’t good enough. What a crock. This woman simply had
her favorites, who were not overly talented, but she not only had to put them
ahead of this student, she had to insult her in the bargain. Another horrible
teacher fail.
Fortunately, this young woman in question, always better
than both these “teachers,” held her head up, stayed positive, kept singing,
and still has an amazing voice and has performed on stage for thousands of
people!
I know, this has been long, but we’re almost done. I think
there are two great lessons in this tale. First, if you’re a teacher, please
try to remember the massive impact you can have, for good or ill, at any point
in a young person’s life. If you are
tired or exasperated, I hope you will be able to find some way to blow off
steam other than to take it out on the child in front of you. You are the adult in the equation – act like
it. Never forget that the student in front of you is a child, who looks up
to you, trusts you, and is more or less at your mercy. Be kind, supportive, and
positive. If you can’t, then get out and find something else to do.
Second, if you’re a student, don’t let a bad, tired,
stressed teacher ruin your future. They don’t deserve that much power. Be the adult in the equation if you must.
No, it isn’t fair, but sometimes that’s just how it is. Remember that this
angry, unreasonable grownup in front of you may be dealing with unbelievable
stress and crisis outside the school, and everyone reaches a tipping point
sooner or later. Or they may just need to rethink their profession. There’s nothing you can about that, but don’t
let them damage you.
If you’re doing your best, have faith and confidence in
yourself. Don’t let another person’s angry rant convince you that you can’t do
something, like I did. Keep faith like
the young woman in my story – I admire her strength, patience, and kindness,
and how she came out on top of every situation.
She’s a great role model for us all!
