Nothing to Fear

As kids, my brothers and I walked everywhere.  Later we graduated to bicycles.  We’d leave the house in the morning, have lunch at home or a neighbor’s house, and return for supper tired, dirty, and happy. There was nothing to worry about.

It only took a few, isolated instances of highly publicized instances of people doing bad things to kids, and we changed very rapidly to a fearful nation.  TV news moved information everywhere very quickly. I don’t know if there were more bad things going on than there were before, but suddenly you were aware that it was possible. Thirty years later when I had kids, parents were terrified to let their kids out of sight.

Surfer Laird Hamilton said, “I don’t want to not live because of fear of what might happen.”  U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  Jesus said, “Fear not.”  These statements are all excellent guidance, because fear is a magnet, drawing to you the thing you fear.

Politicians picked up on this and have used it extensively. Listen carefully to what your favorite elected official is actually saying. Is he or she talking about how to improve things? Are they discussing the real issues that your family faces? Or do they just issue incendiary statements to stoke your fear, saying things to make you mistrust some group of people, or their opponent?

They are working to mislead and misdirect you. Their goal is to keep you fearful of this group or that, so you won't notice the real problems creeping into your world. Hitler was a master of this, and 6 million Jews paid with their lives, along with tens of millions who died to halt the German war machine.

Today we have ISIS - a real and credible threat – which deliberately commits despicable acts to provoke fear. American police kill more people in a year (mostly unarmed, non-threatening citizens) than all the other first world countries combined, many times over. Fear is the cause, and fear is the result. 

Americans kill each other with guns at an unprecedented, unparalleled rate. Fear, fanned by gun lobbyists and manufacturers, and the politicians who serve at their beck and call, is crippling us. It is an outrageous situation, and anyone trying to do something about it is blocked for the sake of profit.

For the record, I am and have been a gun owner for most of my life, and I believe in responsible ownership and reasonable precautions to be able to buy one. I was a proud member of the NRA when gun safety was its purpose, before it became the leading proponent of a gun in every purse, pocket, drawer, stroller, nightstand, etc., so you can defend yourself from a bad guy with a gun.  

Trouble is, the facts say otherwise. I’m not going to cite any of the long lists of available statistics on gun deaths, but we can clearly see this hasn’t worked like the gun promoters say. Guns have almost never been used in a defensive way, but they give an angry person a quick, handy, easy to use way to permanently settle an argument with a friend or family member.  More people have been killed by domestic terrorists with legal guns than by any of the bogeyman groups we are told to be fearful of. And how many more children must be murdered in school shootings before we realize and say, oh my, we’re doing this to ourselves!? 

And isn’t the gun-as-defense situation really just morally sad? What are you defending – the $20 in your pocket?  IF someone with a gun is so desperate for money that he is willing to steal it from you, are you really so concerned with keeping your property that you are willing to end that person’s life, or your own, in the process?  What happened to turning the other cheek, and walking the second mile? Those weren’t just Sunday school stories, folks.  It is terribly sad that a large part of the American population has become so obsessed with materialism, and so afraid of having someone take something away, that they are ready to kill to defend their stuff. 

I think it's time for America to decide differently, to choose another way.  I'll start, folks, and I'd like to know if anyone is willing to step up and join me.  Here’s how to join – just say: There is nothing to fear.

As I write this I am in a downtown in Saudi Arabia, surrounded by Asians, Saudis, and Indians, and I haven't seen another western face in hours. I am not at all worried – these people bear me no ill will. I am safer, by far, than a resident of Houston, Dallas, Las Vegas, you name it. One day, walking a few blocks from where I am now, I turned a corner and came nose to nose with a Saudi man. He was obviously tense and uncertain. I smiled and he relaxed and grinned, and we greeted each other in Arabic (salam halekum – peace be upon you).  Later I realized he was afraid of me until I smiled.

Smiling feels better than scowling! Which brings me to the initial thought for this post, which has gone a long way from its origin. Today I bought a very personal service which I've done a lot for myself, but only paid for once many years ago. I got a shave and a haircut. I get lots of haircuts, of course, and I've been shaving myself since I was, I guess, 15.

But this week I was feeling a little cantankerous at work, and just decided not to shave all week. The grizzled look is a Saudi favorite, so I thought I could get away with no one guessing at my quiet rebelliousness! But I badly needed a haircut, and was finally able to get in with my barber of choice, Mel, a lovely Philippino gentleman. When he finished and asked me if I needed anything else, I surprised both of us by asking for a shave.

This turned into a nearly 40-minute shave and facial treatment, hot towels and lotions and straight razor and all. Mel is meticulous with my hair, but I was surprised at the thoroughness with which he knocked down every bit of hair on my face, gently drawing the razor across my skin to take off the stubble.  At one point I thought of a scene from HBO's Game of Thrones, where the victor forces a captive man, now a slave, to shave him. You could see the captive’s hand twitch and his arm tremble, struggling with the choice offered him. Kill his captor and die, or shave the bastard and live. Sadly, the captor lived.

But it occurred to me that here I was, trusting Mel to safely scrape my face and neck with one of the sharpest implements made, and I was unafraid. Nothing to fear. Every major religion in history has taught Jesus' messages, in one form or another: fear not, and love one another. Good advice. We've gotten highly selective of the religious teachings we choose to pay attention to, but these are best ones to remember and practice. 

So I will do my best to live this idea. Don’t worry, be happy!  Now, I’m not stupid. I am and will always be careful, prudent, and closely observe my surroundings. Living without fear doesn’t mean nothing bad will happen.  But it means I don’t have to worry and fret about anything in case it happens. I’ll wait, and deal with what shows up.  Life’s too short to waste worrying, and I can probably make better decisions and deal better with what shows up if I am unburdened by worry about else might happen. 

Winston Churchill may have said it best: “When I look back on all the worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened.”  I’m trying to learn that lesson sooner.  There is nothing to fear.  Join me?

Best to all, Mark