Today is a special day - not many of us reach this point anymore. It used to be common, not too big a deal at all, but times have changed, values have shifted, and convenience often outweighs commitment. Today my beautiful partner and I have been married 35 years.
We've been to weddings and photographed couples as the DJ calls out anniversary milestones, and we don't point it out but many times we would have won the contest. And every wedding we shoot I try to catch her eye during the vows, and let her know that I still stand by my vows from 1978, to love and honor and cherish. She is important to me. She is still the special one my heart belongs to.
I married Dana because she was beautiful, brilliant, determined, creative, fiery, exciting, and fun! She challenged me in ways no one else had in my life, and for the first time I was motivated (by a gorgeous A student) to excel in my studies, and I moved past being a C student for the first time (I would never have made it through pilot training academics without her - thank you Sweetie!). She is still all of those things, in addition to being wise, clever, massively talented, highly experienced, kind and generous.
It's been a bumpy road at times, as most roads are. We have fought, played, cried, laughed, argued, shared, and loved. We've been devastated, but we made it through together. We've been overjoyed, and shared it with each other. She gave us three daughters, one who was not intended to be with us but a few months, and two who are so wonderful, beautiful, brilliant and unique that I marvel at my blessings.
There are some things I regret, all of them to do with my behavior. I would do it all over again if I could, but I would tell myself a few things first so that I would know how to be more supportive and helpful and patient in times of hurt and stress. It took me far too long to learn, and I would love the chance to do it again, but better.
I know I'm not the strong, tall, good-looking young man you married any more. I'm old, gray, round, grizzled, and not nearly as strong, but I love you. I have since I met you, and I always will. Thank you for sharing your life with me. It's hasn't always been what we expected or hoped for, but we're still together, and I'll take that over all the what-ifs in the world!
Happy Anniversary, my Dana!
We've been to weddings and photographed couples as the DJ calls out anniversary milestones, and we don't point it out but many times we would have won the contest. And every wedding we shoot I try to catch her eye during the vows, and let her know that I still stand by my vows from 1978, to love and honor and cherish. She is important to me. She is still the special one my heart belongs to.
I married Dana because she was beautiful, brilliant, determined, creative, fiery, exciting, and fun! She challenged me in ways no one else had in my life, and for the first time I was motivated (by a gorgeous A student) to excel in my studies, and I moved past being a C student for the first time (I would never have made it through pilot training academics without her - thank you Sweetie!). She is still all of those things, in addition to being wise, clever, massively talented, highly experienced, kind and generous.
It's been a bumpy road at times, as most roads are. We have fought, played, cried, laughed, argued, shared, and loved. We've been devastated, but we made it through together. We've been overjoyed, and shared it with each other. She gave us three daughters, one who was not intended to be with us but a few months, and two who are so wonderful, beautiful, brilliant and unique that I marvel at my blessings.
There are some things I regret, all of them to do with my behavior. I would do it all over again if I could, but I would tell myself a few things first so that I would know how to be more supportive and helpful and patient in times of hurt and stress. It took me far too long to learn, and I would love the chance to do it again, but better.
I know I'm not the strong, tall, good-looking young man you married any more. I'm old, gray, round, grizzled, and not nearly as strong, but I love you. I have since I met you, and I always will. Thank you for sharing your life with me. It's hasn't always been what we expected or hoped for, but we're still together, and I'll take that over all the what-ifs in the world!
Happy Anniversary, my Dana!
Mark, this is a beautiful tribute to our marriage and a wonderful compliment to me. Thank you for still feeling the way you do,and for expressing those feelings in such a lovely way. I know it isn't easy to remind yourself each day the person who aggravates you so much and loses her temper so much is the person you wanted to marry. Some days I've struggled as well, but we wouldn't be human if we didn't have those days, and it wouldn't be special if we hadn't had those obstacles to overcome. But we did; we have; and I hope we always will.
ReplyDeleteI'm not embarrassed at all by this blog; in fact, I appreciate and love your continued affection, love and support. Thank you for that. I hope I can still deserve it.
I love you,
Dana
P.S. This beautiful, public love letter does not, however, excuse you from buying a helluva nice 35th anniversary present when next we are together! ;) <33333