No Coincidences

I gave a guy a ride tonight. Sounds simple enough, right? But there was more to it than that. Let me walk you through it, and show how sometimes one thing happens that leads to another in ways you simply could never predict. And remember, there are no coincidences.

A few days ago I put a new battery in my motorbike – a Honda Wave. I call it that because it’s too big to be a scooter, but doesn’t have a proper gearbox so it’s not really a motorcycle either.  It’s not a bad ride but I wish it were a little bigger.  It has a 125 cc engine which is just enough to move me around ok.  Then again if it were any bigger I’d probably be in trouble all the time for speeding.  I haven’t had a battery that worked since I got the thing last year, so I thought it was time to have lights and horn and turn signals and a starter that worked. 

After I installed the new battery I was pretty excited about turning the key and pressing the start button, but felt pretty let down when I turned and pressed and nothing happened.  But by that point the sun was about to set and it would be quite dark very quickly, so I put it back together to ponder the mysteries of the motorbike electrical system.  

The next day a friend said something about it that led me to a new thought, so after work yesterday I thought I’d check it out, and sure enough the main battery fuse was burned out. And the kind Honda engineers had built in a placeholder for and filled it with a replacement fuse!  10 minutes later we were in business – lights, electric start, the works!

I had a pretty good day at work and got a lot done. I’m sure if you ask them my family can attest that I don’t keep a neat, tidy desk. In fact, when I am deep into a project, as I am now, my desk tends to look something like a train wreck.  But I know where everything is – it is filed in my head and can pretty much put my hand on anything I need in short order.

After work I came back to my flat with a very specific rank-ordered list of things to do – check my email to see if there were any messages that needed prompt attention, change clothes, take the old battery to the auto hobby shop on camp and see if they had a replacement fuse and ask if they knew anyone who could do an oil change for me, then ride it around the camp to give it some charge.

I usually don’t ride very far at a time – it is literally 5 minutes from my building to the gate at work.  I mostly walk during the fall, winter and spring, but when the heat index at 0700 is 112F (44C) it’s nicer to ride and not be soaked when you arrive at the office, which is normally kept a shivery cold 62-65F (17C). (I know, in the normal world that's not too bad. But when the outside temperature is double that, it's cold!)

So, I had a great plan, which fell apart during the read emails component when I fell asleep in my chair. I hate doing that. I finally woke up enough to realize what happened.  I got up, changed, and headed out to complete my list!  Wait!! Where’s my phone??  Search the room, look in my pockets, look on the floor, check my bag – no phone.  Must’ve left it at my office, which is always exasperating.  When you are on the other side of the world from your loved ones, the phone is something you keep handy.

OK, new plan, stop by the office to get phone after doing the other stuff.  So I got to the auto shop, which is full to the brim and overflowing with cars and people, but I parked and dropped off the battery in the battery drop off area, then walked to the empty desk right as the guy behind the desk arrived.  Remember about coincidences? Perfect timing #1.

He said they didn’t have any fuses that size, and I should check with a bike mechanic. I asked if he could recommend someone because several others I’d been referred to had dropped out of sight.  He said, oh, maybe we can still catch him, come on, and I followed him out through the door he had just come through.  We caught up to Charlie, who was about to leave, and I will now get my oil change a replacement fuse Friday (my weekend) morning!  Perfect timing #2. 

So I hop on the Wave and proudly hit the start button and rolled out to the street not long after sunset. For the record, it was about 98F, with a heat index of 117F (47C).  Looking to my right I saw a big yellow bus pull off the shoulder 200 yards down the road. Aramco has a small army of migrant workers who maintain the place, in brutal conditions some parts of the year (like now), and a bus ride to their camp at the end of the day is small comfort.  

worker harvesting dates

Looking to my left I see a worker in his yellow jumpsuit running raggedly in my direction, yelling and waving at the bus.  I looked back to the right and observed that the bus (or its driver) chose to not see this poor fellow and it lumbered on down the street.  This guy was small, thin, dark, and could have been from any of a dozen third world nations, imported for raw labor and low pay. But they come here in droves because whatever they earn here is double what they can earn at home.  Perfect timing #3.

My first mindless action was to turn in my intended direction, which was away from the guy and toward the dwindling bus. Suddenly my mind saw this poor guy walking miles, missing dinner, getting fined, and a dozen other instant mental pictures, and I was shouting to myself to go back and help.  So around we go, get back to him and pull over and asked, will they come back for you?  And this poor little man, heaving great deep breaths, after a long day’s work in the heat, from Nepal or India or Malaysia or somewhere, replies in broken but passable English, no sir, they go on, they not come back.  

(Of course at this point I was humbled and embarrassed by myself and the U.S. education system. This guy spoke enough English to understand and answer my question, and could probably do it in 3 or 4 other languages, and my brain can still only handle my home tongue.  It’s not that I didn’t have the opportunity to learn another language, but I wasn’t forced to and was too lazy to do it on my own.)

So here I am, giant Mark on a small motorbike, but I put the rear footrests down, patted the seat behind me, and told him to climb on. Must’ve been some picture, the two of us on my Wave – fortunately we didn’t cross paths when any security guys – chasing after his bus all the way across camp.  He told me where the bus was going, which I’d assumed, and I knew where that was, and we made the best speed I could without knocking him off or burning out the engine from the load.

We never saw the bus until we came right to the gate, and the bus was on the other side, but that was ok. Most of his co-workers were still on this side. They put everyone off the bus, drive the bus through, then take the workers through one at a time. Perfect timing #4.

My new friend hopped off the back and I figured he would sprint for the gate. But first he had to stop, bow, shake my hand, and tell me thank you, thank you sir, I so grateful thank you, all the while grinning ear to ear.  Then he ran to join his friends who had seen us and were calling to him, laughing.  It was a nice moment for both of us!

Mark's Wave!

Then I turned my wheels the other way, went to my office, and found my phone under a single sheet of paper, which I don’t even remember having in my hand today.  But if I hadn’t covered the phone with the paper, I wouldn’t have been delayed to look for my phone after I woke up from sleeping at my desk in my room.

This means I would have missed the bike mechanic, and would still need a fuse and someone to change my oil and filter and do a tune-up. I wouldn’t have seen the guy who missed his bus and ONLY ride to his quarters. I would have missed the opportunity to give him a wild ride across camp. He would have missed food and rest that he would sorely need tomorrow. 

He also would have missed the joy of experiencing someone doing something nice for him in a foreign land, and the gratitude that comes with it. And I would have missed the joy of being able to do something for a stranger, who I would never see again, knowing it would never be paid back and fine with that, because between us we both got immense benefit from the experience and it cost me nothing. I was going to go for a ride anyway!

So what’s the moral of this story?  First, trust your instinct and go with your feelings. They are there for you, built in pointers to show you the way – most of us just don’t bother to listen.  Second, doing something nice for someone, for no reason at all except to do a good thing, is a great feeling.  Watch for an opportunity and try it!

It was a nice night . Best to all, Mark

A Saudi Celebration

I've never written much about my work here, and I'm not going to now other than to say my workplace includes some amazing individuals, and I have been fortunate to work directly with several. I have gained a valued colleague, a trusted friend, and a patient mentor all within one person. He is a geophysicist, which is someone who understands and can visualize the structure of the rock layers thousands of feet below the surface.

He is one of the smartest men I've ever known and worked with, and no matter how dense I have been while struggling to comprehend concepts and techniques way over my head, he has always been able to find a way to rephrase, redraw, or re-present the idea so I could understand, and then I could capture it within the training he and I were building together.

 I have been blessed to work with this Arab gentleman, my friend Saeed hilal Al Tommi.  A month ago Saeed did me the great honor of inviting me to the engagement party of his daughter. I don't know all the particulars of the social structure here around weddings, but this was the first of three celebrations; the final one will be the wedding in Jeddah, in the western side of Saudi Arabia, in March next year. In Saudi society men and women do not mix in public, so there were two parties going on - the men having a quiet, relaxed, visit then dinner, while on the other side of the building the ladies were having a much more lively time (said a friend who was on that side of the wall) with music, dancing, and ball gowns the equal of a Hollywood party!

I asked Saeed if I could bring my camera and he encouraged me to. The engagement announcement must be publicized in the community, so there were already two photographers  there, one from a magazine and one from a newspaper. I was, umm, somewhat better equipped than they were, and another colleague suggested they were a little intimidated. But soon whenever I saw a good shot one of them was quickly at my elbow. I'm used to that at weddings, but it is usually a relative who is the appointed family photographer!

So here are some of my shots from the party, with a little description below each. It was a fascinating event and we had a great time being there!

My friend Saeed hilal Al Tommi, the bride's father (left), the groom, Faisal Bin Abdulaziz Al Barakat (center), and his father, Abdulaziz Abdulla Al Barakat (right). The room had about 150 chairs aligned in rows, and a row at the front of the room for these gentlemen, family, and special guests. It was interesting that all these men, smiling, laughing, and happy to see each other, and eager to have photos made, became very straight-faced when the camera came up. Privacy is treasured, and five years ago I probably couldn't have taken these shots.

 Arabic coffee - strong, not the same as what you drink at the office in the morning! Served hot in lovely small glass cups, as soon as you finish one you are offered another. To be polite you must have at least three!

After chatting for an hour and a half, an incense brazier is carried around to all the guests so they may waft the smoke on themselves if they wish - some do, some don't. It was actually a very pleasant incense, even to me with sensitive sinuses, so when in Rome. . .

 The group from work who attended, and we were seated at the front of the room right next to the groom! (L-R) me; Bryan (a member of my group); Wilson, another geophysicist; the groom; Saeed; David, our acting administrator; and Saeed's relative Abdullah, who works in the building next to ours.

Saudi chat room! Friends, family members, neighbors, and more. This event was held, of course, at the Holiday Inn of al Khobar. I believe the temperature was 102F (39C), but the humidity coming off the Arabian Gulf sent the humidity soaring, and the heat index was around 118F (48C). Steamy.

Saeed flagged me down to take this shot with the oldest member of his village, who had just arrived. This society honors their elders, and shows them great respect. Quite nice.

These boys were typical boys - they ran, they yelled, they were shushed and told to sit down, etc. But they were smiling and happy and pleased for me to take their picture.
 

 Endless refills of coffee until you hold out your hand to signal "stop."

Saeed caught in a smile with a guest.

Dinner setup.  I believe this was the hotel catering manager. Note the size of the tray he is carrying.

Saeed made sure I saw and captured images of the different presentation of roast lamb on a bed of rice, a traditional Saudi feast. This was a table for honored guests, with a large portion. But I'm certain no one went hungry tonight.

The chef, proud of his work, and rightfully so - it was a delicious meal.

Entering the banquet hall for dinner, which is traditionally served and eaten with fingers. Our tables for this party were set with forks, knives, and typical western plate. I was tempted to dive in with my hands as did the Arabs at our table - hey, I was a boy scout, I know how to eat with my fingers! - but since I was in my nice clothes, I thought I'd try to stay clean.

After dinner treats - amazing chocolates, and cashew-filled dates. These were all delicious. I didn't have any after dinner, but they were generously served before dinner, and it would have been rude to not try them. :)

Mark and Saeed.  I am blessed to know you and work with you, my friend. Thank you for inviting me to this family celebration!

(Note: If anyone is interested, here is a link to one of the publications that attended and photographed the party - don't ask me what it says, it is all in Arabic!
http://www.ham-24.com/news.php?action=show&id=58825)

Mosque at Sunrise in Saudi Arabia

The al Khobar Corniche runs north and south along the Arabian Gulf in the town of al Khobar, near where I work. On bus trips returning from town, I've many times seen a lovely small mosque, and always wondered if I could get good images of it.

I've learned that there are many small mosques like this, built to honor a family member, teacher, or Imam. So, me being me, I figured the best time to try getting some shots would be at sunrise. There are good reasons for this - the air here is always thick with dust and sand and stuff, so there is always haze.  And this time of year, and especially right by the water, the humidity takes your breathe (right now, at 10 p.m., it is 95F (35C) with 65% humidity for a heat index of 116F (47C). It will get worse overnight. So sunrise should be a good time to minimize all that haze and get some pretty light.

Pretty light, you ask?? Daytime light here is the harshest, brightest, most glaring and brilliant I've ever seen. It is unforgiving and unrelenting. The sun comes up in the summer before 5 a.m. and by 5:30 it is full-on brilliant. It stays that way til late afternoon, then softens a bit before the sun disappears into the haze layer well above the horizon. So yes, pretty light at dawn.

I talked a friend, Jose, into getting up early (0315) and driving me to town. He's a good sport, so I bought him breakfast afterward!  We got there well before sunrise, which gave me time to scout out angles and locations to maximize the trip. Then over the next 45 minutes as the light increased, then the sun rose, I got what I came for.

This was a few weeks ago, during the last weekend of Ramadan this year, which is a month-long time for fasting, giving, and reflection, so it seemed like a fair time to go shoot a mosque.

Below is a shot looking south along the Corniche. Off in the distance is a restaurant complex. At this point there are very few shops, but to the north is a very busy business section.

Below, dawn approaches!

Sun finally peeking out of the haze about 15 minutes after official sunrise!

Sunrise at the mosque. Sadly I didn't find the name of the place, but it is very pretty on its little island!

It was a weird day, starting so early, but I'm pleased with the images. Come back soon and I'll have something else to share! Best to all, Mark

Nothing to Fear

As kids, my brothers and I walked everywhere.  Later we graduated to bicycles.  We’d leave the house in the morning, have lunch at home or a neighbor’s house, and return for supper tired, dirty, and happy. There was nothing to worry about.

It only took a few, isolated instances of highly publicized instances of people doing bad things to kids, and we changed very rapidly to a fearful nation.  TV news moved information everywhere very quickly. I don’t know if there were more bad things going on than there were before, but suddenly you were aware that it was possible. Thirty years later when I had kids, parents were terrified to let their kids out of sight.

Surfer Laird Hamilton said, “I don’t want to not live because of fear of what might happen.”  U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”  Jesus said, “Fear not.”  These statements are all excellent guidance, because fear is a magnet, drawing to you the thing you fear.

Politicians picked up on this and have used it extensively. Listen carefully to what your favorite elected official is actually saying. Is he or she talking about how to improve things? Are they discussing the real issues that your family faces? Or do they just issue incendiary statements to stoke your fear, saying things to make you mistrust some group of people, or their opponent?

They are working to mislead and misdirect you. Their goal is to keep you fearful of this group or that, so you won't notice the real problems creeping into your world. Hitler was a master of this, and 6 million Jews paid with their lives, along with tens of millions who died to halt the German war machine.

Today we have ISIS - a real and credible threat – which deliberately commits despicable acts to provoke fear. American police kill more people in a year (mostly unarmed, non-threatening citizens) than all the other first world countries combined, many times over. Fear is the cause, and fear is the result. 

Americans kill each other with guns at an unprecedented, unparalleled rate. Fear, fanned by gun lobbyists and manufacturers, and the politicians who serve at their beck and call, is crippling us. It is an outrageous situation, and anyone trying to do something about it is blocked for the sake of profit.

For the record, I am and have been a gun owner for most of my life, and I believe in responsible ownership and reasonable precautions to be able to buy one. I was a proud member of the NRA when gun safety was its purpose, before it became the leading proponent of a gun in every purse, pocket, drawer, stroller, nightstand, etc., so you can defend yourself from a bad guy with a gun.  

Trouble is, the facts say otherwise. I’m not going to cite any of the long lists of available statistics on gun deaths, but we can clearly see this hasn’t worked like the gun promoters say. Guns have almost never been used in a defensive way, but they give an angry person a quick, handy, easy to use way to permanently settle an argument with a friend or family member.  More people have been killed by domestic terrorists with legal guns than by any of the bogeyman groups we are told to be fearful of. And how many more children must be murdered in school shootings before we realize and say, oh my, we’re doing this to ourselves!? 

And isn’t the gun-as-defense situation really just morally sad? What are you defending – the $20 in your pocket?  IF someone with a gun is so desperate for money that he is willing to steal it from you, are you really so concerned with keeping your property that you are willing to end that person’s life, or your own, in the process?  What happened to turning the other cheek, and walking the second mile? Those weren’t just Sunday school stories, folks.  It is terribly sad that a large part of the American population has become so obsessed with materialism, and so afraid of having someone take something away, that they are ready to kill to defend their stuff. 

I think it's time for America to decide differently, to choose another way.  I'll start, folks, and I'd like to know if anyone is willing to step up and join me.  Here’s how to join – just say: There is nothing to fear.

As I write this I am in a downtown in Saudi Arabia, surrounded by Asians, Saudis, and Indians, and I haven't seen another western face in hours. I am not at all worried – these people bear me no ill will. I am safer, by far, than a resident of Houston, Dallas, Las Vegas, you name it. One day, walking a few blocks from where I am now, I turned a corner and came nose to nose with a Saudi man. He was obviously tense and uncertain. I smiled and he relaxed and grinned, and we greeted each other in Arabic (salam halekum – peace be upon you).  Later I realized he was afraid of me until I smiled.

Smiling feels better than scowling! Which brings me to the initial thought for this post, which has gone a long way from its origin. Today I bought a very personal service which I've done a lot for myself, but only paid for once many years ago. I got a shave and a haircut. I get lots of haircuts, of course, and I've been shaving myself since I was, I guess, 15.

But this week I was feeling a little cantankerous at work, and just decided not to shave all week. The grizzled look is a Saudi favorite, so I thought I could get away with no one guessing at my quiet rebelliousness! But I badly needed a haircut, and was finally able to get in with my barber of choice, Mel, a lovely Philippino gentleman. When he finished and asked me if I needed anything else, I surprised both of us by asking for a shave.

This turned into a nearly 40-minute shave and facial treatment, hot towels and lotions and straight razor and all. Mel is meticulous with my hair, but I was surprised at the thoroughness with which he knocked down every bit of hair on my face, gently drawing the razor across my skin to take off the stubble.  At one point I thought of a scene from HBO's Game of Thrones, where the victor forces a captive man, now a slave, to shave him. You could see the captive’s hand twitch and his arm tremble, struggling with the choice offered him. Kill his captor and die, or shave the bastard and live. Sadly, the captor lived.

But it occurred to me that here I was, trusting Mel to safely scrape my face and neck with one of the sharpest implements made, and I was unafraid. Nothing to fear. Every major religion in history has taught Jesus' messages, in one form or another: fear not, and love one another. Good advice. We've gotten highly selective of the religious teachings we choose to pay attention to, but these are best ones to remember and practice. 

So I will do my best to live this idea. Don’t worry, be happy!  Now, I’m not stupid. I am and will always be careful, prudent, and closely observe my surroundings. Living without fear doesn’t mean nothing bad will happen.  But it means I don’t have to worry and fret about anything in case it happens. I’ll wait, and deal with what shows up.  Life’s too short to waste worrying, and I can probably make better decisions and deal better with what shows up if I am unburdened by worry about else might happen. 

Winston Churchill may have said it best: “When I look back on all the worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened.”  I’m trying to learn that lesson sooner.  There is nothing to fear.  Join me?

Best to all, Mark

Starting another year

I got to spend almost the entire month of May at home – how wonderful!  My time was spent with my family, in our home, cooking in my kitchen, seeing my favorite places and remembering our favorite restaurants, and enjoying the green and rain! Wow, what a great month. I’ll post some trip images soon. 

Now I’m back in Saudi Arabia starting a fresh contract year. It was tough to come back this time – home is so nice! Not that this isn’t nice, but Dorothy had it right: there’s no place like home.

I’m also here just in time to witness some awful things. One is the pair of bombings – two in the past two weeks – against Shiite mosques near my location.  A man I work with lost three family members in an attack two weeks ago, and another man here was in a mosque that was attacked a few days ago.

These attacks have been claimed by ISIS, and they seem to have no purpose but to stir up discontent and trouble between Shia Muslims, and Sunni Muslims, which is the predominant practice in the Kingdom.  Sadly, this rivalry doesn’t require stirring – it’s been going on for centuries – but ISIS is in the business of brutality to cause confrontation, and they are horribly effective at it.  Even so, I applaud the Shia community here for their response, which brought tens of thousands for a peaceful funeral march to bury the 22 dead following the first attack. 

The other awful thing I’ve seen is the hatefulness and intolerance toward Islam that has been going on in the U.S. It is shameful and embarrassing, and is the result of fear mongering of the worst sort.  We are far too quick to speak and shout out based on ignorance and emotion without a shred of factual information. Yesterday I read of an Islamic couple who went to pick up their son at a friend’s house, and a woman held them at gunpoint until they could prove why they were in her neighborhood. This is a response based in fear and ignorance.

Today’s news was about an anti-Islam “rally” in Phoenix – the sole purpose was to incite conflict and trouble. Attendees were encouraged to wear shirts with inflammatory slogans, and to arm themselves in case there was trouble, which is kind of like going into a paper building carrying torches, and bringing a fire extinguisher in case there’s a fire.  This is fear and anger, stoked by irresponsible, idiotic politicians and media. Fortunately, a crowd the same size as the protagonists circled the mosque to protect and defend the people inside, and the event passed without major incident.  (The organizer, who sees himself as a patriot and went far out of his way to create this spectacle, blames his target group for the scrutiny he now finds himself under. Yep.)

Wonderfully, according to the reports I read, several members of the antagonistic group actually sat down with some of their targets, meeting Muslim people for the first time in their lives. One man was invited to join in prayers, actually did so, and came out with a new opinion – which is what can happen when you face your fears and replace them with facts. 

I work in a multi-national, multi-cultural, and multi-religion location. It is a place of mutual respect, and we do wonderfully together. I have met people who I am sure will be my friends for life, and many of them are Muslim. They are lovely, kind, friendly, generous, family oriented people and I am proud to know them.  

I’ve got a big secret to tell you America: Muslims are just like us in many aspects. They have families and bills and worries. They take care of their aging parents. They invest for the future. They try to teach their kids right and wrong. They have failures and successes and flat tires and struggles – just like we do. Some of them are among the most brilliant people I’ve ever worked with.  

Are they different from us? Of course. They live in a far different, more harsh environment, and their culture is 1400 years old. They have different traditions based on where they are, and they shouldn’t have to explain or defend that to us, any more than the French need to justify their peculiarities, or any of nationality. We all have our peccadilloes.  

Islam is a peaceful religion, and the normal Muslim is a peaceful person.  One of Islam’s main religious texts is the book we call the Old Testament, and Jesus is revered as a prophet.  The biggest difference between us is that they live and practice their faith every day through prayer, kindness, and sacrifice. 

Most Americans (and Christians) tend to ignore the part of scripture they disagree with or don’t want to think about.  Really folks, in one of the letters from someone to some group, the Bible mentions homosexuality as not a good thing, but Jesus never brought it up. At the same time, among many other things, eating pork and shellfish are specifically cited as an abomination, and divorce is explicitly forbidden. And your teenage son who talks back? If you really practiced the Bible’s instructions you’d have to stone him.  Oh yes, and there are a dozen or so “definitions” of marriage included in the Bible (including between a man and a woman).

Are there bad Muslims? Probably just as many as there are bad Christians.  And then there is this extremist group ISIS which has caused so much fear and hatred against Islam. But condemning and hating all of Islam because of the terrorist Islamic State is like condemning and hating all of Christianity because of the actions of the far-right fundamentalist Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas, which is simply a terroristic hate group.  If you are a real Christian who believes and practices the peaceful, loving, forgiving teachings of Jesus, you would likely disagree with being lumped in with them.

My Arab friends are outraged by IS – “They are not Islam,” they tell me, “they are liars.”  Then they insist on telling me the parts of the Koran that forbid everything IS has done and is about, and condemning them as heathens. 

Yes, this has been a long rant, and if you’ve made it to the end, thank you for sticking with me. What’s the point? Get about 1 mm under the skin and we are the same. Get past the local traditions and religions and, again, we are the same. Let’s stop looking for and creating divisions to cause problems. Let’s help each other and be tolerant of each other and love each other. Everyone. Everywhere. This is what Jesus taught when he said "Love one another." It's time we paid attention.

Jesus had another specific instruction that far too few Christians remember, much less practice. Some version of this is taught by every major religion in history: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Think about that for a minute or two. The implications of the Golden Rule are mind blowing, and if we all start doing this, really, it would change the world. Let’s start today. 

Namaste. Shalom. Salam. Peace.